From SKWID to BCT!

Today (Sun 17th August) we are exhausted after (successfully) completing back to back training courses. Our first was the SKWID course (another great VSO acronym!). This consisted of a five day residential at Harbourne Hall, B'Ham 08th - 12th August. In total there were approx forty people in attendance and six trainers. To summarise, we covered all manner of issues to support our placements in foreign climes. Our routine consisted of breakfast, beginning sessions at 0900hrs and finishing at 2000hrs, breaking for coffee, lunch and dinner. In hindsight the course was a valuable exercise but very intensive and kna######g. The cuisine was designed by a former school meals provider with the emphasis on 'carbo' loading thus enabling full and active participation (great flapjacks!). We were impressed by all our VSO colleagues, great company and all sharing our mixture of excitement and anxiety of our imminent overseas postings.

We completed SKWID on the Tuesday and then started another 'envelope pushing' course, the dreaded CBT!
CBT stands for Compulsory (motor) Bike Training (I think!). Why on earth are you doing this I hear you ask? We can assure you it is not of our doing; it's all down to necessity as we are told by VSO, a motor cycle will be our major form of transport in placement.

Our first day, Wed 13th Aug, we met our, soon to be, long suffering instructor Chris Page. After initial pleasantries we get down to it! NO.......... more bloomin acronyms BOLTS and PIGS figure highly and the use of BISH, BASH, BOSH which will remain secret to all us 'bikers'! (if you are really sad and desperate to know email me!!!) We were introduced to our prosthetic appendages, the bikes. These became lovingly referred to as the beast, monster , bloody thing or best friend. Both of us are much more comfortable with a wheel at each corner, which reassuringly means we cannot fall over!

The beast however is another kettle of fish. After an initial BOLTS AND PIGS this seemingly harmless cocktail of materials turns into an uncontrollable monster with a will and consciousness of its own. Chris does his level best to provide a mixture of encouragement and 'discipline' in a jocular and approachable manner but we use our previous training course as a plausible excuse for general ineptitude in following his sagacious input. Nevertheless, he perseveres with what must have been an uphill struggle and we do manage to mount our steeds and perform, what now seem, exercises the average eight year old would pick up in minutes.

After the first day we return home slightly demoralised and tired out but we turn up for day two. True to form Jan being the class swot had done the set homework assignment whereas I had maintained my usual no homework policy (one which has been with me since Primary school days!). We began by grooming our beasts and ensuring they had sufficient food for the forthcoming days toil. The first session went reasonably well and we seemed to make progress. However, by late afternoon Chris had clearly had enough of us now regressing and wisely curtailed and further humiliation by putting the beasts to bed.

More time, lots of practice and despite it all, we are now informed by Chris that we are to head out on the public highway - we respond with a huge gulp and inwardly feel sick at the prospect. We wondered whether the police should be informed and the local populous warned to stay in doors. So, we removed our rear wheel stabilisers and ventured out. Amazingly all survived our sortie out into the big wide world. We return home feeling a mixture of relief, some pride and the knowledge that no damage was inflicted to objects animate or otherwise, but steeling ourselves for a day out tomorrow!

Alarm goes off, weary bodies fall out of bed and we with great enthusiasm (not) trek over to Kidderminster to the awaiting beasts. It may be an illusion but we swear that Chris seems to have aged significantly but as always displays a great big smile and extols praise in our achieving this zenith. All goes well and Chris seems pleased with our second sortie into the world. However, one tiny episode worthy of inclusion involved our only incident! Whilst in Kidderminster town centre Jan decided, or was it the beast, to go shopping. As a result she ended up mounting the pavement on bike as if beamed from the road to this new location. Chris seemed unphased at this event, Jan attached shopping to the beast, put bike onto road and we then proceeded on our journey. (Just to note that Jan didn't go shopping, it was an error and no-one was affected. To her credit Jan continued without effect!)

We treked over to Leominster in reasonable weather and returned in our summer seasonal rain. Chris informed us that we had achieved the seemingly impossible in satisfying the criteria thus passing the course and the VSO requirement. We can only say a big thank you to Chris for his endless patience, good humour and perseverance. THANKS - please forward any medical bills for psychological counselling.......

We now start the final leg of our preparation - more packing.